MY FULL ASS.

I’ve been writing since I was a wee child, and self-published when I was 16, and first gathered a good little following on MySpace, thanks to an automated bot. But fear of failing, fear of succeeding, fear of *gasp* people I know reading my writing, and fear that self-publishing wasn’t *real* publishing kept me from attempting to transfer my MySpace list elsewhere.

And so my following died. I made half-assed attempts to publish again over the years: always under fake names, and never really going all-in. And here I am now, wondering why I have never gone all in.

I have a full-time job, I have my MFA in Creative Writing, and I’m spry and ambitious. In my ideal world, I write stories all day and people buy them, and I don’t have to work at all. I can host more workshops in Costa Rica and chill by the beach with fellow writers.

The first thing they say is to create an email list. Have a sign up link on your site, and offer a free book.

I have read this advice from different columns, heard it from various podcasts, and seen it at work with my other writer friends. I would get annoyed every time I heard it.

“Yeah, I know. I know, make an email list. Fuck you.”

But I never did it. So now I’m doing it.

Leave your email above and I will send you my free book, Bastard in a Haunted House. You’ll get an idea of my style or something. Maybe it’ll blow your mind. Maybe you’ll hate it and me forever. That’s cool, too.

cover1

So here it goes. The full ass.

I have been thinking of writing as a hobby. A money pit. Something I throw time and money and blood into. But not as a moneymaker. So I never thought to advertise, to promote: to treat it as a business.

I’m switching gears. I need like, goals and stuff. I mean, I went to graduate school for this! So I wrote a check to myself for 1 million dollars that I can cash in 5 years. And dammit, I’m going to cash that check.

My goals for right now (spreading awareness):

  1. To grow an email list to 1000 people (and not spam them)
  2. To read in live venues 100 times in 2017 (I’m at 6. I have a ways to go)
  3. To get at least 1000 downloads of my free book
  4. Learn which Facebook and Amazon ads work for me
  5. Connect with other writers and creative people and engage in a dialogue (ew corny I know)

So here it goes. I’m putting the full ass in! Woo.

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