I Had False Choices, And I Chose Wrong

I had the choice to get married or not. I chose the wrong one, and so I was blamed for society’s ills.

I had the choice to go to college and be a weird artist, or climb a career ladder. I chose wrong, so I don’t deserve insurance.

I had all these false, bullshit choices. I was supposed to be grateful for the option, but still pick what I was “supposed” to pick. I was supposed to have the gift of reproductive freedom, but not use it.

I am a sinner. I am idle. I am going to hell. I picked all the wrong things. I’m supposed to be into mommy wine culture at this point. I don’t have what they call a “real” job.

Because I didn’t pick the right things, my life is not real and I deserve to be punished.

Punished for being single, for not having sex, for having sex.

I had false choices. I was never supposed to actually exercise my freedoms. That makes them all so mad. All these men screaming that the declining birthrate is my fault…thirty years ago, they yelled at my white mom for having a kid with a Latino.

I’m supposed to procreate? Thirty years ago, I wasn’t even supposed to exist.

Those same people would have been angry when my grandparents came into the United States to begin with.

I actually chose what I wanted.

That was what I did wrong.

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