Workshop with Ariana Seigel, Jenna Conner, and Tiger Surf School

There are only 7 more days to sign up for the early bird special of Fuck Brand: What’s Your Mission?! Costa Rica July 15 – 22, so I wanted to let you all know a bit more about the workshops and the workshop leader.

Ariana Seigel is our workshop host with her awesome and funny pointers on discovering your mission as a comedian and writer:

 

Ariana recently finished her workshop in Los Angeles!

 

Our yoga teacher, who we will rise and shine with every morning, will be Jenna Conner @curviyogi16:

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Three meals/day will be prepared by Arlene Tucker, who did a yummy job in our last workshop! Look at that spread:

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We will have one group day trip to Tiger Surf School where you can take either a surf lesson or ride a kayak, whichever is more comfortable for you! Or, just lounge on the beach with a book.

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After our surf lesson, we will take a hike around Jaco beach. Look at that view!

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…And you’ll be staying at Norma’s Villas in La Garita, Alajuela for the week!

 

Dates: July 15 – 22, 2017
Place: La Garita, Costa Rica
Price: $900 until May 15, $1000 after
Includes: 3 meals/day, room, workshop, daily yoga, one beach trip
Does Not Include: airplane ticket, taxi rides to/from airport, other daily excursions

So what are you waiting for?! Visit http://www.normasvillas.com/retreat or email lisaatnormas@gmail.com for more information.

Paying through EventBrite will cost an additional fee. Payments through PayPal will not include fee. Email for more information if you’d rather pay via PayPal!

 

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MY FULL ASS.

I’ve been writing since I was a wee child, and self-published when I was 16, and first gathered a good little following on MySpace, thanks to an automated bot. But fear of failing, fear of succeeding, fear of *gasp* people I know reading my writing, and fear that self-publishing wasn’t *real* publishing kept me from attempting to transfer my MySpace list elsewhere.

And so my following died. I made half-assed attempts to publish again over the years: always under fake names, and never really going all-in. And here I am now, wondering why I have never gone all in.

I have a full-time job, I have my MFA in Creative Writing, and I’m spry and ambitious. In my ideal world, I write stories all day and people buy them, and I don’t have to work at all. I can host more workshops in Costa Rica and chill by the beach with fellow writers.

The first thing they say is to create an email list. Have a sign up link on your site, and offer a free book.

I have read this advice from different columns, heard it from various podcasts, and seen it at work with my other writer friends. I would get annoyed every time I heard it.

“Yeah, I know. I know, make an email list. Fuck you.”

But I never did it. So now I’m doing it.

Leave your email above and I will send you my free book, Bastard in a Haunted House. You’ll get an idea of my style or something. Maybe it’ll blow your mind. Maybe you’ll hate it and me forever. That’s cool, too.

cover1

So here it goes. The full ass.

I have been thinking of writing as a hobby. A money pit. Something I throw time and money and blood into. But not as a moneymaker. So I never thought to advertise, to promote: to treat it as a business.

I’m switching gears. I need like, goals and stuff. I mean, I went to graduate school for this! So I wrote a check to myself for 1 million dollars that I can cash in 5 years. And dammit, I’m going to cash that check.

My goals for right now (spreading awareness):

  1. To grow an email list to 1000 people (and not spam them)
  2. To read in live venues 100 times in 2017 (I’m at 6. I have a ways to go)
  3. To get at least 1000 downloads of my free book
  4. Learn which Facebook and Amazon ads work for me
  5. Connect with other writers and creative people and engage in a dialogue (ew corny I know)

So here it goes. I’m putting the full ass in! Woo.